It takes a lot to show up

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about

CASSETTE SOLD OUT

credits

released January 1, 2016

All songs written by Beshéle Caron
ROOMS “it takes a lot to show up”
formerly I MAKE EARTHQUAKES
[cc] SOCAN by pretzel records [pr#2]


Recorded and mixed by Christopher Ellis
on location at Invisible Recordings and
Nicole & Alex;s home, in the Pacific Northwest
Mastered by Tom Prilesky

recorded with help from
C. Ellis, N. Caron, D. Loan, C. Gilroy, A. Miranda
V. Hampson, K. Caron, O. Lee, D. Barclay

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Track Name: It followed us home
It followed Us Home

You take up space and it's taken for granted
This tension started on Escalation Mountain
I wrote it on the side of our boat
And then it followed us home

You're crumbling and your hands holding the branches
You won't let go, no you won't let go, no you won't

I told you that we won't float away,
But now I see that was so unnecessary

You won't let go, no you won't let go, no you won't

If I told you everything would be ok
Would that make you feel more safe?
We're the only two here on Tension Lake
If one of us is afraid the other is brave

You won't let go, no you won't let go, no you won't

You're arms are tired and my arms are tired,
We can't stop holding each other
Track Name: We share a pay cheque
We Share a Pay Cheque

There might be a boulder on my shoulders
When I wake up it's covering my body
We share a bed, we share a room,
We share a house, we share a job,
We share a pay cheque

I carry it around, every pound
Every heavy encounter
We've never been apart
Eleven years ago my shadow doubled
I could only go so far
It's as if, I pulled out the stopper,
And let it all float away,
And let it all go down the drain

As I move around, I watch myself step over
the wet spots on the sidewalks
As if they were tiny lakes
That we could sink in to

There might be a boulder on my shoulders
Holding me down, under water

It's as if, I pulled out the stopper,
And let it all float away,
And let it all go down the drain
Track Name: You and the wall
You and the wall

Your face is buried in my comforter
I asked you to please, please say something
You turned away, then you removed your tuque

And when you finally wrote something down,
It was a diagram of all the spaces allocated
to all your worries as they collide in to each other
We were not saying anything,
Cause it was written down on the pages

If we were lying down face to face
We'd still not be saying anything
I would still be sleeping on the inside,
You'd still be sleeping on the outside

I am positioned between you and the wall
Track Name: Gossip Saves
GOSSIP SAVES

You think they've been talking about you

You gotta be tough out there, there's something in the air
Things don't feel quite right to go out tonight,
Don't know who's out there, don't feel prepared

Cause you think, they've been talking about you
You don't know what they've been saying
And you wonder if it's all in your head
Scrutinizing yourself until there is nothing left

We used to get together, and tell each other
Sarah said, Jamie said, Kyle said, I said it to you,
You told Jen yesterday, down the hall you heard me say

“Be Brave,
Cause Gossip Saves”

No matter what they say or do, it will come back to you
It's always been this way
It doesn't have to break you down, It's about what comes around
And what you take away

Cause Gossip Saves
Track Name: Night Games
Night Games

You said to meet you on the other side of the forest
You said I didn't need a flashlight but I did
I will bring the leftovers over,
Just as soon as my eyes adjust

And maybe later we can go outside and watch the stars
if it's dark enough

You be Panda, I'll be Koala
Just stick to the path so we don't get lost
An arm's reach a way, maximum
What a fun game!

And you told me to wear two pairs of socks instead
of one and I did
And when I got home my feet weren't frozen
thank you, thank you, thank you
What a great idea

And maybe later we can go outside and watch the stars
if it's dark enough
Track Name: Market value
Market Value

Yes we put that garden in,
And yes it was on your lawn
the sun was hot, took off our clothes
And gardened in our underwear

Yes we brought the compost over
You weren't home to see the work
We tore up your yard for good
To the detriment of your neighbourhood's
Market value
Track Name: organizing hurts
Organizing Hurts

You misread what I said
You mistaken me for someone who displeases you
And you can't see it yet,
but you're so effected.

Loving you was easy,
It took one moment to know that
But it took a thousand others
To let you go into the arms of another
My family is inside of me
And I'm sorry if you can't easily find it

My cheeks burn cause I don't understand
How we are so easily guided
Take your courage and use it

Hello, Hello you don't know me
But we work in the same place
We make low, low wages
Have no job security
I know I will see you again one day,
Cause we live on this hurting planet
Track Name: Buckets
Buckets
You turned your head, didn't see where I went
Put down my bucket and followed you through the woods

I'm feeling a bit thirsty, drinking all the sap that I could ever need
But down that bucket Beshele,
Don't you hear them calling your name?

Saw you head towards the road, so I followed
I turned my head, didn't see where you went!

Standing alone waiting to know where I should go,
Oops don't fall, don't lose your footing,
these buckets are so so heavy
Oh no, it's cold, it's snowing, these buckets are so heavy

And then I see you looking right at me
And then I see you staring right at me
This must be some weird misunderstanding
So, I turn my head, I turn my head
Track Name: Let's play getting closer
Let's play getting closer

I wonder how, I wonder why
It took us until chapter ten to turn off the lights
Our voices were so tired, we lost them in the words
The words turned in to, giant boulders
And we were lost inside, we were lost inside

Changing positions, every time we change narration
Let's play getting closer every time we switch off readers

Why do the days go right by
All of our moments become so isolated
When it happens to us, over and over and over
and these moments turn into giant boulders
With tiny cracks and fissures that we could never find
we could never find, we could never find

We were lost inside, we were trapped inside
We could never find, cause we were lost inside
Track Name: sleepovers
Sleepovers

You said “Hey wake up, look out the window”
And so I stood up, and it's the sunrise
Thank you so much, for waking me up

There are triangles all over the walls
from the shadows coming through the light
coming through the curtains I gave you
And why do we always get to sleep over at your house?
and when will we get to sleep over at my house?
Track Name: Arena
Arena

You were going to write about
The way you felt get it out,
But you were so scared of the isolation
Every time you tried, you would get stuck,
So you'd spend all of your time writing
To your friends about how much
You would like to be alone

But you're so scared of the isolation